Sajia Afzali remembers the chaos in the streets of Kabul on August 15, 2021, the day the Taliban regained and seized authority in Afghanistan following two decades of U.S. control. People streamed out of workplaces and schools in the capital city in response to the news, making plans to flee to safety.
Afzali was studying economics at a university in Kabul and was living with her husband and two children. The family fled from their home with the clothes on their backs and documents showing her husband had worked for the U.S. government, proof that was a golden ticket out of Afghanistan.
The young family came to the U.S. as refugees and settled in Henrico County with her father-in-law, who also worked for the U.S. government. Other family members were also living in the area.
In the year after the U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan, 195,000 Afghan immigrants lived in the U.S. Between 2018 and 2022, roughly 19,400 Afghan immigrants settled in Virginia; only California received more Afghan transplants. Washington, D.C. and its suburbs have the largest population of recent Afghan immigrants of any metropolitan region in the U.S., according to an analysis by the Migration Policy Institute.
The adjustment to life in the U.S. has been hard, emotionally and financially. Afzali, 28, is pained when she speaks with family members who have been left behind, her aunts in particular.
The Taliban have enforced brutal laws against women, banning them from most jobs and attending school after age 12. In September, Afghan’s religious police banned women from raising their voices in public and looking at men other than their husbands or relatives.
Afzali was a child at the start of the Afghanistan War in 2001, the U.S. response to the September 11th attacks by Al Qaeda, the terrorist group harbored by the Taliban. As part of its counterterrorism efforts, the U.S. helped Afghans establish a representative democracy, giving more stability to Afghans like Afzali’s family and new opportunities for girls and women.
In Virginia, Afzali is continuing her education at Virginia Commonwealth University. She is taking prerequisites to study dentistry at the university. Afzali is grateful for the freedom to pursue education she and her daughter have in the U.S.
This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.
No word can describe my feeling when I left Afghanistan. Leaving your country, your homeland, is like leaving your mom, your family, in a harsh, bad situation. Sometimes, I think about that day and I feel it was like a movie in my life. It's a black day for all Afghan people.
It was 11 a.m. and I was at home, and I tried to make lunch for our family. My mom called me from Tajikistan. She told me, “Go out of your house, because if the Taliban come to Kabul, they will come to your house!” I just ran and talked with my mother-in-law. And we all came together and just ran from our house.
We didn’t have much time to prepare. We just took some clothes for my kid. My daughter was one and my son was four. I just collected some diapers, milk for my daughter, and just the very important documents, like our school diplomas and the documents that show that my husband and my father-in-law worked with the military of the United States.
Because my father-in-law was working with the Interior Ministry, we had some guards for our house. One of our soldiers took us and dropped us at my uncle’s house.
All people were in the street, the young generation, especially the guys. They go out from their offices. They go out from the university. Everyone tried to find a way to go home or to hide somewhere.
We arrived at my uncle's house and everyone was crying. My uncle has four girls, and we all were crying because all our dreams go to zero in one day.
My childhood was in a village and when I went to high school, we moved to downtown Kabul. Then I was in college. I got married, lived with my husband and family there. My husband was working with one of the American organizations. And he worked for seven years in Afghanistan International Bank in economics.
Honestly, I miss everything from there, the way it used to be. I miss my family that is still there, my auntie, my uncle, my friends and the foods, the places, the shopping center. There was no going outside much in my home country because at that time, also, women were not comfortable like here.
But still, I miss walking in my country’s streets and going to university. I went to a private university, and I studied economics. It was my third year that the Taliban came.
We didn’t have any choice to stay hidden from the Taliban (the day they returned). We had to leave Afghanistan. We just kept emailing with the United States military. They told us to go to Kabul airport.
It was all people around the airport. The people were coming to my husband. They told us, ‘Please, take us with you guys. We want to go! We can’t live here!’
(The U.S. forces) came with a bus and we sat on the bus and then went to the terminal. They took all our clothes, everything that we had with us. We (flew) to Qatar. And then we went to Germany, and after 45 days, the United States.
We have family here in Richmond on my husband’s side and also my aunt and one of my uncles is here. It's hard adjusting in a new country with a completely different culture. How we dress, the way we cook our food — lifestyle is completely different. My husband, here he works in a construction company. It's very hard for him.
I thought if I work in a daycare, maybe my English would get better, and also my kids would be with me. It will be great. I worked at a daycare for two years. My boss was very kind and she helped me a lot with my kids. She got my kids in for free there and she also paid me. And she made the schedule the way I wanted. She was perfect. Unfortunately, she left the daycare and I felt not good there.
My friend found an organization that helps people find jobs or get a certificate if you have a high school diploma. She helped me to apply to the Virginia Career Workforce Connection. One of their employees contacted me and I chose dental assisting because I read some about the economics in dentistry.
I felt more interested in dentistry because I wanted to help people with their oral health. When you say hi to people, the first thing is your smile. I want to make a beautiful smile for everyone. She told me you have to start from dental assisting school first. And then, if you want to be a dentist, you have to go to university.
She applied for me to go to a dental assisting school located in Williamsburg and it is one hour from my house. Fortunately, it was every Saturday, from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. During the weekdays, I went to daycare for work.
After finishing dental assisting school, I applied for dental assisting positions. One thing is, no dental office is hiring some person to work part time, half day, every day. I told them, every morning I have to go to VCU because I had some English classes.
Also, my English is not good. If you see every dental office, they have very good English, the profession. When they interviewed me, they said no. I never lost my hope. I go in person — I apply, apply, apply. And then find two offices that told me, okay, we want to hire you.
(At VCU,) I start from English and biology classes now, then I will go into dentistry. I organized my schedule — how to care for my kids, do household tasks. I study when I can. But it was hard. I never lost my hope. Everytime, I try my best to achieve something.
My aunties and uncles, there’s some of my friends (in Afghanistan). When I think about them, I feel like I am in jail or I can’t breathe. It’s very hard. Before, they went outside with the hijab or scarf. And now they are not allowed to go outside without a man. And they just stay home, cleaning, cooking, and that's it. A lot of people lost their jobs.
One of my friends, she was working with architecture and she worked in a ministry. But now she lost her job. All of my friends that worked before, they stay at home. And some of them, they got married because there’s nothing to do there.
My mom just graduated from high school, but it was hard for her. She told me that when she was in 11th grade in school, all schools were closed for three years. She just went sometimes and finished high school.
Now, she’s calling me. She told me, do your education. Go study, go work, don't stop. Education is the key to achieve your dreams. You can help your family, your kids. My father always provided a calm situation for us to continue our education.
It will take a long time to finish dentistry, maybe seven years. I hope I become a skillful and professional dentist. I want to have my own practice and help people, especially the refugees here. The people that don’t have dental insurance or something, because the dental insurance is too expensive.
I want (my daughter), in every situation, no matter what problem she faces, she has to get her education. Here, there is a lot of opportunity for people. Everything is ready. It’s like spoon feeding — here you have to know how to bite.
Reach Leah Small at leahmariesmall@gmail.com.