On WHRO's Another View, host Barbara Hamm Lee recently discussed how to break the cycle of domestic violence, with co-host and cardiologist Dr. Keith Newby, domestic violence survivor and G.R.O.W. founder Neisha Himes, and the CEO of the YWCA South Hampton Roads Dr. Mary Kate Andres.

One major point about domestic violence is how it progresses. "It's not like an abuser just comes up and punches you in your face," said Neisha. "It's gradual, building up to it."

At 26, Neisha was a paralegal for a real estate law firm. Once she started dating her soon-to-be abuser, he questioned her loyalty to him. He started checking in with her constantly. He made her feel guilty for being busy and spending time without him. If she didn't pick up the phone after the third ring, he thought she was cheating on him. The emotional abuse continued for years. She moved in with him due to financial circumstances and once it turned physical, she kept going back because she didn't have a place to stay.  

Neisha's story is far from abnormal. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 20,000 calls are placed a day to domestic violence hotlines.

Because of her past experiences, Neisha decided to start the non-profit, Girls Recognizing Our Worth (G.R.O.W.), a local organization run entirely by Neisha, that promotes awareness of sexual violence, provides resources like food, clothing, shelter to survivors of domestic violence, and also focuses on helping young girls and women find their self-worth and be empowered. She also performs Spoken Word and speaks at different schools and events sharing her story and spreading awareness. 

Listen to the powerful spoken word piece that Neisha performed on the show:

 

Dr. Mary Kate Andres, CEO of the Young Women's Christian Association (YWCA) South Hampton Roads, notes that survivors should have a safety plan.

"Even if you can get yourself out of there for a day or two, and you can be gone out of his or her sight and view, you can start over."

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, check out this list of available resources in your area, or call one of the numbers below.

YWCA South Hampton Roads 24/7 Crisis Hotline: (757) 251-0144

The Samaritan House - Virginia Beach 24/7 Crisis Hotline: (757) 251-0144

The Center - Newport News 24/7 Crisis Hotline: (757) 236-5260

The National Domestic Violence 24/7 Crisis Hotline: 1-800-799-3224

Listen to the full radio broadcast.

Visit YWCA South Hampton Roads to show your support or get involved spreading awareness about domestic violence.

 

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