One after another, folks filed into Freemason Street Baptist Church on a chilly Tuesday evening in Norfolk.
Some headed straight for tables and chairs while others made a beeline for a buffet of warm turkey wings, seasoned rice and fresh collards. Most were women of various ages and races, though a handful of men joined in the room that was alive with chatter. A few stole glances at their phones, but the majority came seeking a connection of another sort.
What looked like a church supper evolved into what the Hampton Roads Community Foundation and YWCA of South Hampton Roads call Community Peacemaking Circles, safe spaces to build trust and have racial healing conversations.
Healing circles date to Indigenous people who used storytelling to encourage open exchanges about difficult issues. This is the second year the foundation and the YWCA have offered the circles and many former participants returned, describing them as transformational.
“I left feeling like I wanted more,” said Portsmouth resident Trina Whatley.
The circles have no more than 20 members with two leaders, or circle leaders, who keep the conversations respectful and flowing.
Last year, 60 people participated, gathering six times from February through August. The recent introductory meeting, held as diversity, equity and inclusion programs are politically under attack, attracted 75.
“The current times really position the conversations differently than last year because it’s front of mind,” said Vivian Oden, the foundation’s vice president for equity and inclusion, after the event. “This is space for people to process the impact everything is having on their lives.”
Initially, participants are grouped with those who share their racial or ethnic makeup.
“That allows people to feel comfortable to share because race can be a difficult topic. People don’t want to say the wrong thing and offend someone,” Oden said.
Ground rules are established in the first meeting and the circles will meet in March and begin being paired with those of different ethnic backgrounds.
M.E. Hart walked into the evening curious and eager to hear other people’s stories. He values connection and community; he’s co-founder and CEO of a Virginia Beach leadership development company that fosters diversity and inclusion.
“Our social skills got a little rusty after COVID,” Hart said. “It’s important to be intentional to connect with people outside of our narrow stream.”
Whatley also used the word “intentional,” stressing the need for people to show up.
“In our current climate, I think building connection locally is more important than ever,” she said. “We have to try to come together in ways we never anticipated.”
The recent meeting began with everyone sitting around small tables eating dinner. Oden looks for restaurants that specialize in ethnic dishes.
During the first hour, Jazmine Smith, an African American executive director of a youth mentoring organization, joked easily with retiree David Peck, a white senior citizen she met in the buffet line. Peck is disturbed by President Donald Trump and his administration’s attitudes toward race.
“He is setting us back 50 years,” Smith agreed.
Peck added, “100 years.”
Richmonder Amanda Pittman describes herself as progressive after growing up in a conservative family in Northern Virginia. She has been searching for a community to tap into that doesn’t have church at its center. It was refreshing, Pittman said, to find what she had been looking for in Norfolk.
“At the end of the day,” she said, “if you’re not helping you’re hindering.”
Attending the February and March meetings was mandatory for attending future circle meetings. For more information, visit the Hampton Roads Community Foundation.
